Well, today's the day - in fact, right now.  It has been one year to the moment that we got the news.  Over the past several months, things had gotten to be better - the grief had lessened to the point that we were able to continue with our normal lives.  But the past two weeks, at least for me, have been hell.  As we approached Tim's first yahrzeit (Yiddish term, literally meaning "year time" but used as the anniversary of losing a loved one) all the grief seems to have come back to me.

I have taken today off of work, not to take an extra long weekend, but to be with Tim's mom on this day - she needs me infinitely more today than my job does - and I have a really good boss, she's in total agreement with me over that.

We do have some plans for observing this date.  We have ordered a beautiful lei to put on his surfboard, which is mounted over our living room window.  (Nice to have a vaulted ceiling.)  Today, we also will be mounting his shelf and putting his urn and photo (and a few other keepsakes) "up on a shelf" right by the surfboard.  We ordered some really nice shelf brackets - they are 1/4" steel dolphins, hand made.  We found a beautiful piece of wood (red mahogany?) which I have been finishing off by hand - one more coat of stain this morning, a final smoothing, then up on the wall it (and he) goes.  We'll also be hanging out some time today down in P.B., probably at the end of PB Drive, like we did for his birthday.

And maybe I'll write more later, I just woke up and had to put something down because it was the exact same date and time as when we got the news, and for me that will forever be the moment at which we lost our son.